hallelujah, Adia is mine

Adia looks like Spencer.

She doesn't seem to have any of my interests. Mainly she likes to collect rocks and sticks and dress up like a princess.

Today we made robot heads and watched Spectacular Spiderman (which seems to pick up a little of Ramos's art.)

She squealed "Spiderman is cool!"

Finally!

I was starting to believe that maybe Spencer just reproduced asexually and laid the egg in my womb like some alien.

(front and back of robot head)


This post is a little boring so: Random Fact (I said I would do this 6 months ago):

If I am startled I punch. I once punched a clown in a haunted house because he jumped out in front of me. It was a challenge when I was in drama to hide in the wings and try to scare me without getting punched.

Recently at church I almost stabbed a 10 year old boy with scissors when he jumped out behind the door.

You never know when it will be a gang of ninjas so I never let my guard down.

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Robots don't smell like pee

I hate potty training. I don't want to spend time reading books on it either. I just want someone to say this is how you do it and get it done with. I tried giving her a jedgie (jelly) beans after every potty sitting, we got new underwear, new potty decorated it with stickers and she has seen her friends and people she admired use the potty. She just stands where she is and watches the pee fall out.

I am taking Melanie's idea and banning her from potty training till she is three.

This was my last straw:

She has a book about dogs, a fabric book where you feel the dog fur. She used the book as a stepping stool and peed all over it.

"UGH!" I groan. "That's disgusting."

"I a goofy goober!" says the excited Adia.

"No," I said, "you're a hobo."


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Pretty sure they are made from happiness

Due to come out this Christmas.

Cooking all your favorite foods with a special ingredient.

Please send me a comment if you would like to pre-order your book. I am expecting to out sell Paula Dean so please get on the list before they are all gone.

Mothra

I hear Adia yelling, "Go away bee, go away!" I look down the hall at her. She is sitting perfectly still, not waving her arms or anything.

"Go away bee!"she keeps yelling.

I get closer. A large moth has landed on her foot and she is too petrified to move. And the moth is content to stay.

Adia's moving castle

Adia and I made a castle out of cardboard. I can't seem to get her to play in it. I think next time I need to get her to participate more in the construction.
A friend was telling me about her diet.
"I am part raw, part gluten free, part vegetarian and I only use organic meat and dairy."
Isn't that everyone? I mean besides specifically organic sometimes I eat a salad and on my wild nights I eat fish. For a crazy twist sometimes I eat an apple baked into a pie.

The Illustrated Baby

Why do I bother reading?
If it's a good book, I'm upset when it's over and sulk around the house looking for something else good to read.

When I finish a good book I am in a vulnerable state. I will take any book endorsement and read.
"Here read this," a friend suggests. "It's about people who love each other and their love shines on even though they are zombies vagrants in the harsh modern city of San Jose. Everything is solved when a flying yellow cat in a turban swoops down and solves everyone problems. plus there is a huge section in the middle about Napoleon and his wars."
If I don't like the book I can never be friends with that person again.

Please send me recommendations I have to many birthdays to remember.

nude beach

We live in the upstairs of a house. Adia loves to walk down the front steps and play at the landing. There is a little window right at her height and she likes to line up her toys on the window sill.

"I going to the beach," said Adia.
"Okay," I reply.

Adia walks down our front steps.
I don't hear her playing down there. I run down there and find a trail of clothes ending with her diaper and a naked child is running around outside.

To open our door we use the deadbolt since it doesn't stay shut when it isn't locked.
Spencer must have unlocked the door for our friend this morning.

It was magical

I did meet that unicorn.

It's been hard to write with Spencer sick, Adia being a fountain of vomit and me not feeling well myself. So here is a quick rundown of some thoughts...

Spencer asked me which historical figure I would like to be. My good girl standard church answer was Jesus but the crucifixion was a real deal breaker. My final choice is Tycho Brahe. He's smart and wealthy, plus the gold nose, midget and alcoholic moose help.

So rugby was scandalized last week when Tom Williams did a horrible job of faking a blood injury. Rugby is a sport where it is very difficult not to cheat. The rules of rugby are very complex they read something like, 'A player must always pass forward unless the moon is waning and a marshmallow within a two feet radius of the field.'
The rule pertaining to Williams is, if a player is taken off the field but it turns out is not injured the only way he can return is if a player on his team starts bleeding, something about appeasing the rugby demons or something. So Williams took a fake blood tablet from a joke shop.

All Williams had to do is play rugby and there would have been blood sooner of later. If he really wanted to speed it up so bad he could have blown a kiss at the biggest opponent on the opposing team.