Short story about duct tape

I ran out of contacts and my glasses were just snapped in half. Duct tape is holding my glasses together.
My car broke down in Canada. Duct tape is holding my car together.


If Adia cracks her skull I will post pictures of her with duct tape on her head.

Under the Sea

The only camera I have is on my computer. (I had a digital one, but Adia + sand + camera = broken. ) So Adia was being adorable in the bath and looking so clean and rosy that I wanted to take a picture I drew it instead. I'm going to pull out some of my acrylics for Adia's next birthday.

Adia <3 mermaids. There's a story I read her at night about fairies combing mermaids hair. When we get to that page, we have to stop and talk about the mermaids. And the baby mermaids. And the bubbles. And the mermaids, and the mermaids, and the mermaids...

It's gotten out of hand. I showed her "Under the Sea" and "Part of Your World" and now whenever I say "Under the Sea," she echoes me. She has a newly discovered love of her garage sale $1.00 Ariel heels.

Yeah, mermaids wear high heels, trust me.

So here is my guilty pleasure.

The Little Mermaid was my first Disney movie experience. Like the rest of my peers, there was nothing I wanted more than to be a mermaid and to sing. I would have sold my parents for it. My older sis and I would have competitions on who sang more like Ariel. My brother (our judge) would declare one the winner. The loser would physically attack the winner and the competition would have to start all over again.

I am finally Ariel. I get to sing these songs to Adia (with my high pitched lisping voice) and she looked at me with her big brown eyes that say, "You sing like Ariel, mommy."

99 bottles

So I've had a rough week and it's the weekend so I'm going to drown my sorrows in a bottle.
I love carbonated water. My $1.27 addiction.

Flavored pop is for weak lazy babies who need to have a delicious taste presented to them. They need their cola to jump on their tongue shouting "I'm a cola! Aren't I awesome?" These babies probably have allergies to wheat and the color yellow just so that they can avoid eating oatmeal. Well guess what, Spencer, they make gluten free oats now.
Man this is some strong stuff.
hmmm...... *reading bottle ingredients*
...carbonated mineral water... Natural lemon flavor!?!

I need to buy another bottle, and see the bishop.

tough crowd tonight

I'm sure everyone has something they want to be complimented on.
I always wanted a guy to gaze into my eyes and say, "Chrissy, you are the funnies girl in the world."

I can't get Spencer to laugh at my jokes.

"Urrg! Why haven't you thrown away the pictures of your innards! everytime I look on your desk they are staring at me unashamed."
I figured telling him that his medical pictures should be ashamed at their nakedness would make him laugh but no.

Finally one day I gave up and entered "poop" wherever I could. he now laughs without fail.

doing great at pitying myself

My grandparents had 13 kids. It was my grandpa's goal in life was to have over 100 grandkids. Though my relatives multiplied like rabbits 100 was not reached, but there are a lot of us. I decided tonight that I would actually comment on some of their blogs though I doubt half of them would know what I am. Sadly with it being 3 am I managed a lot of "cute's" with exclamation points.

Sorry about that.

Not sure if it's Bellingham, or me, but I get a lot of people yelling at me. Today I was called several naughties for dropping off a package in the post office drop box. The man was upset that I didn't wait in line to have a mailman take my package. When a customer tried to explain that I was in the right, he started swearing louder. I'm so glad I don't work at the post office in December.
I actually get this a lot.
Overhearing me talk to my sister a guy said I sound like a duck, another eavesdropper said I have no taste in music, and a couple of times recently I have have guys tell me that my boobs aren't big enough.
I must have a sign around my neck that says,
"Please tell me what you don't like about me because for you, I will change. Seriously your opinion matters to me. because you, man with mullet, mother dressed in daughter's clothes, or gay man with secret crush on my husband who puts me down whenever he sees me, I am helpless without you."
Though I'll put up with the crazies if it means I get to live next to this.

Now I better cough up some more blood.


oh and I forgot to post, Spencer has a flash story published go read it for free here.
http://www.flashquake.org/nonfiction/how-to-tell.html

I'll aleep when Adia gets up

My grandma made me a quilt ten years ago. When she made quilts she would get all her fabric from bargain bins. This one has Frankenstein heads all over it, it's my favorite.