She'll be moving out soon

My job as a parent is complete. Adia can identify Jesus and Spiderman, now she knows who she can turn to for help.

A friend tagged me on FaceBook, asking me to list twenty-five random things about myself. Since my attention span does not last long enough to read twenty-five things, let alone write them, I will write one at a time.

#1. I am terrified of spinal cords. I am disgusted that there is one inside of me, hanging out like he doesn't know what he is.

Give Ra Blood

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/cartoon/article5562306.ece

My English teacher, Mrs. Seltzer, was retiring my senior year of high school. It made for the best year any senior could ask for. My friends Tony, Tyler and Lauren did a presentation that consisted of throwing candy out to the class and playing hangman with imaginary words. They received an A. Tony did a presentation on talking dog movies (will talk about later) and he received an A.

Most of the time we watched movies. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory kind of movies. Not anything educational.

The only person ever disciplined was me.

I asked Tyler if he would go to prom with me since my boyfriend and I broke up. I wanted to go with someone I knew I would have fun with. Tyler said yes. I told my friend Kiley and she got this confused look on her face and said, "He's going with me. We've been making our outfits all year." (The did the duct tape prom thing)

Tyler never did tell me that he was going with anyone else.

Tyler asked me to put his hair in dreadlocks over the weekend, I was really excited, but the next day he walked into class with them already in--put in by another girl. After having him cheating on me again, I stood up, pointed at him and yelled, "You deadlock whore!"

Mrs. Seltzer sent me out to the hall.

The banshee of Disney

Adia loves mermaids. She wakes up shouting "Mommy mermaid."

If I ask her who she is on the cell phone with it's "mermaid." She wears a mermaid dress during the day and eats off mermaid dishes.

If I need to get some major things done I search mermaid on youtube and play "under the sea" for her.

I was kneading bread when I hear the most awful screeching. It was as if scuttle the seagul finally had a solo. I looked at my poor child, She had her fingers as far down her ear canal as she could cram them. The sound was horrible, but she still didn't want to take her eyes off the mermaid clips.

I don't need to say that the Disney corporation has no quality standard. There are the many horrific, almost mythical beasts it has spawned. I have discovered the one they call Miss Tisdale.

First you swing your hips

My grandma has always been hard on my older sister. When at 13 my sister wanted to walk to the main street of Eureka Montana my grandma put her foot down, "First you're gonna start swinging your hips, then your gonna say 'Come on boys! Come and get me!'"

It went a little far when my grandma stayed with us over a summer. At breakfast my grandma announced to big sis "One of your little customers showed up last night." A boy who had a crush on my sister had tried to talk to her but, too scared to call he knocked on her window. Which was then opened my by grandmother. He ran.

The boy looked like Archie from Riverdale and was about as innocent as Archie. Big sis was also an unlikely candidate for pr-teen fornication. In middle school my sister was slightly chubby, and painted sunflowers on everything in her room including the alarm clock and mini rocking chair which sat two teddy bears.

I've never figured out what grandma was holding against my sister. I have to think more about my grandma accusing big sis of immorality.

I think I'm the villain

I just heard Adia saying "Mama badda coka
babt mama mermaid mama." I looked over and saw that she found this old Wonder Woman comic. I wonder if I'm the villain since she is blond.

Last night Adia rushed into the kitchen on her stubby legs and threw something away. She hurried out with such intensity that I knew she was up to something. I walked after her (she makes more motion than movement when she runs).

Adia was caught brown handed with chocolate. I made her ask for it before she could eat it. It seemed mean to take it away when she had risked all to throw away the wrapper.

R0B07 3|\|91|\|3

I had a dream last night that a giant robot was destroying the town by bouncing a red ball into buildings.
This girl rushed to grab the ball and hide it from him. "NO!" I shouted. "He'll kill you!"
"He won't," she responded. "I'm too pretty."
The robot grabbed the ball and threw it at her she lived but was no longer pretty.
Robots do not care for human ideals.