EEEIIIHHHH!!!!!

Spencer and I go on a nice long walk late at night. We are halfway down the cross walk when, a rat runs from the sidewalk towards us, runs up the side of the stroller, jumps down and runs away.

My ninja skills do not kick in and I helplessly run in place and scream.

I wonder what the car waiting at the crosswalk thought of me, because I doubt he saw the rat.

Earlier today Adia was at her cousin's house jumping up and down on the couch. She fell off and laid a goose egg on her forehead. I called the doctor panicked.

It would have looked so bad if I called 5 hours later to say a rat bit her face...

where is that dvd about poop?

I got a dvd for Adia about using a toilet. It starts with a lifeless British voice over:
"This is Jake. Jake has three special friends that live in his pocket."

The camera zooms on on the animated boys pants and inside the pocket at three snails, Gordan, Dale and Buttons.

I wish I could have been at the planning meeting for this show.

guy1: We've got to get kids interested in potties. How do we go about this?
guy2: We need a mascot some fun animal...
guy1: Something cuddly like a rabbit or exciting like a dinosaur?
guy2: ...or like a SNAIL!
guy1: Oh brilliant! yeah kids these days love snails. I mean what could be more exciting than snails.
guy2: And the snails live in pockets!
guy1: So they don't have shells right cause that's where snails live.
guy2: No, they still have them it's where they keep magic things like a potty map and a camera to take pictures! Pocket Snails, kids are gonna freak.

And Adia did. I catch her making up songs about them.

And in more British news, I'm adding a link to my favorite podcast (2nd is Radiolab) I run through the house and fall over giggling when I see my itunes has downloaded a new episode.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/us_and_americas/us_elections/the_bugle/article5675321.ece

(here is radio lab if you want it http://www.wnyc.org/shows/radiolab/)

cough cough

I am really sick right now. Last night I woke up feverish and groggy needing to pee. I look down at my legs which are fused together like a penguin body, that's not the part that freaks me out. I was frightened by the fact that I had two feet. "What am I suppose to do with two feet! I can't walk with two feet. I guess I will just not go to the bathroom."

In January Spencer had an operation that told him nothing was wrong. After insurance took out what they are willing to pay we are left with $600 to pay. $600 dollars worth of nothing is wrong. At least we could have gotten some stickers with it.

Rodents are fuzzy

I'm going to set a rule for everyone to follow, unless the recipient is your own child. Do not give an animal as a gift. My friend was given a gimp guinea pig for her birthday. Although she hated her pet, she took care of it the best she could until the pet died.

On the other side of the world almost ten years later a little girl writes to her beloved Russian president for a guinea pig. The president's goons find her at her school and yell at her, then they yell at her parents.

The tragic story does have a happy ending. The little Russian girl got the rodent of her dreams plus another when parents told the media.

Maybe we should all watch the hamster dance (they are the smaller versions of guinea pigs, right?) and remember our freedoms, not the ability to simply buy stinky pets at the store, but the ability to turn this tragedy into a Lifetime movie.

The Russian girl may never get a movie.

Collapsible bones

After being 10 minutes in the grocery store, Adia loses it. She wants to touch everything, especially the pretty glass bottles. I try to grab her arm but she goes completely limp.

It's so sudden. Like her skeleton is an illusion and she is filled with pudding. Since I am not grabbing her arm hard she falls to the ground and cries from the shock that gravity would pull her to the earth once her body returned to the pudding state.

So everyone hears "Adia come here," and sees a child sprawled and crying on the floor. This would be normal in Montana or Wal-mart but here Adia and I look completely dysfunctional.

Adia did this four times today in Haggen's.

All is forgiven because when she came home she wanted to dress as an octopus. She's totally my child and she rocks.

Also I think I should market a doll filled with pudding.

random thing #3- The job I really want is to illustrate comic books. That would be my top professional choice.

SOOOOOO cool

I've posted before about my grade school dream of being popular.
In the 3rd grade I had a Looney Tunes shirt. One boy stopped to read it.

"So cool," he read.

"It's says SCHOOL!" I yelled. "SCCCHHOOOOLLL." I drag my finger across the letters to emphasize further my disgust with his reading ability.

My friend and I (because cools girls can't function without minions) walked away laughing.

I got home feeling troubled, not by my behavior but by the very confused look the boy had on his face. I pulled off my shirt and read 'so cool.' I was horrified, not with how I treated him, I was embarrassed for being wrong.

Random thing about me #2 I make up songs about red lights, mermaids or toasters. I mainly like to make up jingles. Spencer's favorite is a song about a removable pony leg called "magic pony leg appear!"