I'm so much better

I was hanging out with my friend Sara and we were talking about our school experiences. Sara was a complete dork. She liked to wear a cloak, and play rpgs and <3 anything to do with dragons. "I was picked on a lot," she admitted.

"I was kind of a bully, " I told Sara.

"I can see that," she told me.

I was opposite. When I was in the 5th grade there was this girl I picked on so much I made her go home crying nearly everyday. (Years later when I was apologizing the girl told me it was everyday but I think she was exaggerating.)

I wanted nothing more than to be popular and my plan of action at the age of 11 was:
1. Be blond and pretty
2. Make fun of anything that isn't superficial
3. Pick on any girl who is not your BFF
4. Marry a football player right out of high school

My agenda for the 5th grade was to get the other kids not to like this girl. I remember this conversation I had with my BFF:
Me: "You shouldn't like ____ because I don't"
BFF: "Why ? She never did anything to me."

Her response was a slap. I was so embarrassed by my behavior. It was as if she pointed out that I was wearing a fanny-pack and stained sweat pants when I thought I was wearing designer jeans.

I trashed those ideas and did what I wanted. I wore Value Village and Nordstrom, I was in drama, the school newspaper and watched Super Friends with my BFF. I didn't try to put others and myself into a category.

When Spencer asked me to read Super Throne of Dragon Fighting Song by George R.R. Martin, I thought 'okay' when the 5th grader in me screamed "NOOOOO that's a nerd book! You want to be cool! You can still be cool!"

It was a frustrating book. Like crack: very addicting but bad for you cause your baby can starve in their crib while you think 'just a minute kid, Arya has been captured (again)'. I got half way through book 3 and the author just lost it. He killed off two characters which completely throws out some things I was excited to see happen.

I'm done.

The 5th grader in me told me not to read them and I didn't listen.
Tomorrow I'm going to Hollister and can someone please tell me what Gossip Girls is all about cause the 2nd season has started and I think I'm gonna start watching it.

Sorry this post is so long but one more note.
I asked Spencer "Why did you have me read this?! You knew it would just tick me off! I justed wasted so many hours on it."
Spencer: "I just wanted you to understand me."