Tuesday, March 2, 2010

two in a week is it your birthday?

Adia had a nightmare that the new baby ate all the yogurt.
Didn't even save her the empty carton to lick out.
Every night brings a 4am panic of being bumped.

She likes to take off her clothes and crawl around making annoying babble noises and refuses to ask for what she wants. I played along but I so sick of it. She even woke up screaming that I need to turn her big girl bed back into a crib.
I'm scared as her last effort she is going to try and crawl back into my uterus.

So mothers or two children how in the world can I get her to sleep through the night confident that I am not growing her replacement?

This is what I have done already:
I tell her I love her, she is still my little girl and I will always be her mommy. She is excited too she talks about the new baby and wants to be the one to hold the baby. I never call her the big girl or act like she needs to man up. I've read books about dealing with two kids today we are heading to the library for movies and books on kids getting a new sibling.


Priya said...

know how you feel! I just let it be and kept showing her that I do care about her. Glenn actually went out and beyond to make sure that Chaaya was busy with playing or doing things. Takes their mind off things!

Zachary said...

Good luck...that's all I can really say :)

C said...

I like Priya's idea. See if you can find a class or something new that Adia can do to make her excited about herself and concentrating on stuff she can do. Without overtly encouraging her to grow up or any such nonsense, you can still subtly reinforce the notion that it's good to be her age and be capable of the things she can do that a baby can't. I know you guys don't have much money, but maybe there's some community programs that could be fun, or grandma & grandpa can fork out some dough as a present ;) I'm not sure what's available for people her age, but I'm sure if anyone can find something cool for kids, it would be you!

Andie said...

uhm... let me hook you up with http://aliblahblah.blogspot.com - she's got two girls too :)

Rebecca said...

Tell her babies are stupid and can't do anything but poop and eat yogurt. And tell her the baby will be her minion.

You're welcome.

Spencer Ellsworth said...

Thank you, thank you. I got some great movies and books for Adia but I took Priya and C's advice and got a book for kids in the kitchen. We've been cooking together and that is really getting her proud of herself.

Jessica said...

sounds like you're doing great chrissy, it's just something she's probably going to have to work out once the baby is here. it's probably weird for her to anticipate and not really know what's going to happen, but once the baby is here, she'll probably chill out. i know sometimes there are sibling classes, it might help her to see there are other kids in her same situation that... survived! weren't abandoned in the forest for eternity. at the hospital when a kid has to go through something new and kind of scary, i just do the five senses, what they will see, hear, feel, smell, etc, and sometimes just knowing what to expect might happen. you might want to lie about the smelling part, though.

kaitlyn said...

i agree with all of the above.

relax. you are a great mom and you will be a great mom to two. Adia is a sweet girl and she will probably LOVE being a big sis. She will quickly see all the things that she can do that the baby can't. plus, she will love to help (not because you make her to, but because it gives her an innate sense of pride in her abilities).

i think that at the very least the first part of bringing home the new baby is easiest. all the baby will do is lay around. the baby isn't going to get in her toys. this makes for an easier transition. we had a much harder time when isla started crawling/stealing all of "blaine's" toys. i always try and tell blaine how exciting it is to be a big sister and how much i love my sister... i also try to reinforce how lucky she is to have a playmate and a bestest buddy that lives with us and can play all the time.

bottom line. you will figure out what is best for your family and how you deal with things. every family is different and teaches differently. adia will be fine and her sibling will teach her things that you never, ever could have.

okay, last thing... maybe she doesn't want to talk about the baby or understand what it means. maybe just let it happen. i don't know. we didn't really talk about isla that much before she came. blaine was a lot younger, but we only talked about it like the week or two before. maybe she is feeling stressed and overwhelmed by the unknown?!?!

babies are scary and to be honest, both of mine always steal my yogurt. it makes me sad. really sad.

ps do you like my novel?

whitney said...

Sounds like you've gotten a lot of great suggestions so far. It's important she knows that you still love her and she won't be replaced, but it'll help the transition if she also realizes how fun it is to be a Big Girl too. Honestly, I wouldn't stress too much about it. It'll happen and probably won't be nearly as difficult as you worry about. Kids are flexible and adjust well after the first initial shock of the situation wears off.

Emily said...

Lots of really helpful ideas here. I think the cooking-big-girl experience will be a great prelude. Melanie was ecstatic to finally be "a big sister!" but she was the youngest of four up till then. Quite different for Adia. I especially second what Cand Jessica said. If you are feeling a little worried about being mom to two (and who wouldn't?), Adia will reflect that. Focus your own thoughts on the great experience up ahead. And let me tell you, it will be so much easier and more pleasant than the first time around, in every way possible. . . . Assuming there are no sudden surprises--like a 3 toed sloth.

Melanie said...

We tried everything with Joseph--all the tricks in the bag, and nothing worked. He is just now STARTING to get used to it and German will be one in two weeks. So sometimes all you can do is hope for the best and give them some time :)