Translation

When Spencer and I went to Scotland we spent some time talking to a girl in a crowded pub. She was boring, like an abstract painting that you to pretend you appreciate. We spent a long time trying to figure out where she was from. She sounded like an odd mix of Dick Van Dyke (from Mary Poppins), Groundskeeper Willie with a hint of Wallace and Gromit.

"Where are you from? I asked. "I've been trying to place where you are from but for the life of me can't figure it out."
Her face lit up like I was writing a story about her.

"Keliforrrnia." (California)

I was confused. This girl's accent was ridiculous "How long have you been here?"

"6 months!" She was so proud that she was blending in with the locals. Too bad they were just other U.S. tourists.

Zach, this was in Edinburgh by the way. Tell me if you run into her.

Missing you

Oh Radiolab I miss you. I thought about you this morning and drew you this picture.


When my sister went to BYU Hawaii she met a roommate from Olympia, Washington. Over winter break my sister visited the roommate and they walked along the coast.

"What ocean do you think this is?" asked the roommmate

"well..." my sister began. "We are in the Pacific Northwest so I think it's safe to assume the Pacific Ocean."

"....oooh."

I think when applying to go to Hawaii the final question should be 'what ocean is Hawaii in?'

October = Ghost

Today while eating dinner Adia said, "He go outside."

"Who went outside?" I asked.

"A ghost," said Adia

"Really? What does he look like?"

"Like a cow."

"Where in the world did you hear the word ghost? How do you know what one is?" I asked.
She pointed at the empty door, where apparently the ghost cow was standing.

Then it shouted MOO!

Okay the last "moo" part was made up. The first part was a real conversation.