Thursday, May 1, 2014

10 years gone

Spencer and I are celebrating our ten year wedding anniversary today. A week ago I was writing down what it was like to live in a split faith home, I am sure there is a much more eloquent word for this but I don't yet know it.

The hardest part was in the beginning. This was in 2005 or 2006. Ask Spencer he remembers all the dates
I really wanted to marry a Mormon. I felt that most all problems would be avoided if I found a devoted member.  
I found my husband who is a return missionary who has a long, long history of being in the church. 
Done! everything was gonna be perfect!
When he left I was really angry because I felt like I had done my very best at getting a perfectly dedicated Mormon man. 
He was really angry all the time. He was frustrated with church history and just wasn't feeling anything when he read the Book of Mormon. 
The most difficult part was living in Utah and LDS culture was all around. 

I talked about divorce. Spencer said, "Don't throw this around until your bags are packed and you are walking out the door." So that was our motto basically, there wasn't a quitting option. At least not an option to use in passing or to change behavior. 
I knew I was suppose to be with him. So we tried to make it work.

From this I had to fall in love with my husband again. I had to look at him differently. I had to find all the kindness and good in him and not focus on what I wished I had.
Wishing for an imaginary man is boring and a lot of work. It was much easier to find the wonderful in the man I had.
I felt divine love for him. 
What I wanted most was respect, this is exactly what he was looking for too. 

We've been together ten years today and I am so happy that I have Spencer.

Also I don't know this post especially since I am trying to have a serious post. I will end with this story:

Sam is so frustrating to play with. We try to play trains with him and our train can't "toot" it must "peep" and it can't go here it must go there. Sam will get frustrated and yell how we need to properly play. After just ten frustrating minutes of trying to play Spencer leans over and whispers, "Worst dungeon master ever." 

1 comment:

Nikki Trionfo said...

Aw, Chrissy, this was beautifully written and so honest. It's shocking to see that who you married is not who you're married to. Mike and I are on our 15th anniversary this year and I'm so lucky that we've been able to do what you and Spencer have. Here's to ten more! (And, like, 10 after that and 10 after that, etc.)