WHAAAAA!

It happened when Spencer went on his eco-savior rant talking about how narwhals are becoming endangered.
There is a long silence.
"Wait. They're real?"
Did you guys know narwhals are real? I thought they were made up like unicorns.
I better not find out that unicorns are real or I will start crying. I could have been riding one all these years!

It's comic book day

It's the day new comics come out hooray!

I went to the store to buy two mangoes, It was more difficult than I thought.
I looked at the two in the bag and felt unsure of my selection, tossed another one in and I immediately felt better. Spencer said he need four lemons I threw in an extra one. I began to notice the amount of produce I buy; five onions nine apple, five lemons, five avocado, seven tomatoes...etc.
I can't buy even numbers it just feels wrong.
I also don't like Adia's sippy cups to have matching cup and lid.

World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

Me: You know how people around here say...
Spencer: Gah! you were saying how great Utah was today but you hated living there I just think you're never going to be happy.
Me: Don't start fighting with me.
Spencer: I'm just concerned for you.
Me: Concerned?
(Spencer realizes there is nothing here he can say to justify)
Spencer:... Concerned that you're pissing me off.

Punching Poetry

I once met a drunk girl that proclaimed her love of sex.
"I love sex so much," she said. "That's why I don't have kids."
I didn't tell her where babies come from. I think it will be more fun for her to be surprised.

I went to an gallery opening tonight, there was a picture of mine displayed (hooray!). There were also poetry readings all themed around women.


I will share two lines from a poem that was read,
"You are a flower to beautiful to pick. Your fragrance to wonderful to leave alone."

The man reading had written the poem for his wife and when he finished I applauded, not to him but to his wife, because his poetry is to awful to have to be married to.

I found through most all the art (painting and poetry) was about sex.
I do believe that woman are very sexual however I feel that exhibiting woman with sex is a bit cliche.
Why is it that people do not explore other aspects of femininity?
When people continuously combine woman and sex, is it treating woman as sex objects?

I feel that it was also a maturity issue. Many of the people there looked like undergraduates.

So what do any of you think about this? I really am curious do you agree or disagree?

RANT!

My parents filed an anti-harassment against a neighbor. The court (without looking at the evidence) threw it out because my other neighbors love this guy and related stories of memories that happened before they even moved to the area. My favorite from a neighbor who moved in when I was 18, was a memory of my neighbor allowing me and my siblings to play in his garage with his toys.

So, if someone is filing an anti-harassment... doesn't it seem reasonable to assume that they need it?

For Easter Spencer got me this stupid little nodding guy which I totally love and enjoy watching it on my desk.
I also got a bunch of honey.

can terrible two's come at 10 months?

Yesterday I took the phone away from Adia. She freaked windmilling her arms smacking me in the face. She hit me and screamed so I took her into a empty corner of the room and sat holding her trying to get her to calm down. She tried to bite my face instead. This went on for five minutes till I gave up and put her to bed.

But on a cute note she did wake me up yelling "MOoooOM!" from her crib.

At least she found the kid

My friend has four year old twin boys. Most of the time her children multiply themselves and add more until she ends up with 7 kids.
The game of choice is dress up. Clothes are scattered all over the play room while they dress up and play. Once when I came over I found one of the twins in a rainbow sparkle skirt borrowed from his older sister. He told me he was a "Dragon Slayer."
The main problem my friend runs into is when it is time for the boys' friends to leave.
"um... where is Ethan's ____(enter article of clothing)___?"
The worst my friend told me when one of the kids was picked up and they couldn't find his underwear.

lesson on drugs

When my grandma gave us money she would say, "now don't you go rolling it and smoking it."

suicide squirrels

Bellingham is full of suicide squirrels.
When Spencer and I go running squirrels dash out in front of us. It's pretty freaky since you don't see any of them till this jet black rodent dashes out trying desperately to get stepped on or at least accidentally kicked into the air. I scream every time then laugh, not unlike a handicapped child.
There are two squirrels in our yard that run up to me when I open the front door. I thought they were cute until they were almost touching me. I realized that they were just rats with adorable tails and ran inside, I use the back door now.

I'm pretty sure disney made that

I knew the poetry was going to be bad when it opened with, "Everyday is Auschwitz for animals."

stuff white people like

I have a starving baby since I have spent so much time reading stuff white people like.
Speaking of something that will inevitably be written on that blog I am going to published in a magazine written for women about women, I must be gifted.

Adia Update:
Spencer spent the morning cooking in the kitchen. He finally collapsed on the bed and let his feet hang off the side. I found Adia picking rice off his feet and eating it.

a diva is born

Adia is pretty ruthless, for a baby.
We fell asleep together while I was nursing her. She woke up first and to get me to move she took the nipple of her pacifier in her hand and slammed the plastic end into my face several times.

nosey neighbors

I live with my landlord below me.
I know nothing about her and despite my efforts I never got any information. I gave up and just googled her name. Not only did I find out where she was April 3rd 2006 I found audio recordings of her narrating her life.
Since she was 16 she wanted to be a fisherman. Repeatedly she was rejected until one day while enrolled in Evergreen College she was hired to come within a week to Alaska to come aboard a fishing ship. Once there the cops were arresting the man who hired her on rape and child molestation charges. She was stranded in Alaska with little money. She finally found some jobs and ended up fishing in Norway. I'm still listening to the recordings.
I am a big fan of This American Life and I blame them for my joy in these findings.

maybe if I stop feeding her she will stop pooping

I'm kicking myself now. I have officially posted messy pictures of my baby eating. In my defense this it looks like she is a zombie baby and has finished devouring a healthy human. Spencer was frustrated this morning that zombies are all the rage, example, example, example, example.
Previous to this we have had a conversation about pomegranates being all the rage. It's pretty funny that they both seem to be in fashion at the same time since pomegranates are the food of the dead.

Speaking of eating strange meat, at Norwescon I saw a woman grab a slice of bologna spread peanut butter on it and smile as she took a bite.

we've been waiting for a whale

Last night I had a dream.
* *wavey scene transition* *
There was a man trying to get Spencer and I to stay at his camp. He opened a box that was as big as a T.V. Neatly packaged inside was every cartoon ever made in chronological order.
"What year were you born?" he asked. There was a definite hint of pure evil in his voice.
"84."
"Oh than you liked My Little Ponies."
I feigned enthusiasm. Although reliving my pony rage would be fun, for the most part 80's cartoons really sucked. He should have temped me with the cartoons from the 30's-40's. I'm a sucker for those surrealist Little LuLu and Betty Boops.
I told him we really needed to go.
Spencer and I took off and ran until we got to the end of a cul-de-sac.
Black clothed torsos with ninja masks fell from the sky landing in the grass ahead of us. Spencer and I stop breathless in the center scared to go further.
"We are the limbless ninjas watch us EXPLODE!" With that they exploded. There was a wall of fire and smoke ahead of us. When it clears the limbless ninjas miraculously their unharmed bodies appeared to the right of us and begin to repeat their motto.
They fade as a new song begins to crescendo over them "Love, love, love..." A chorus surrounded us. They were normal people with a few people in animal costumes and street performer clothes. This eclectic group surrounds us leaving an opening for the marching band that accompanies. The band is an over the top replica of the animated Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band . They are some are on stilts. They are distorted and lead everyone in singing "All You Need is Love."

Spencer and I broke through the crowd and ran through a field.
Teenage Pete Townsend tackled Spencer. I helped break Spencer free as we continued being chased by Townsend who was then joined by Mark Hamill dressed in the fighter pilot outfit. We reached the end of a tall dock. This was our pick up location for a whale to come and return us to our home.
Townsend was still after us, I explained to Hamill that we don't want to go to the camp, he decided he would fight on our side, jumped in a truck and ran over Townsend.
This happened on the dock which then began falling into the water from the weight.
Hamill, in the truck, was the first to start sliding into the water. Hamill saluted and gave us a half smile as his truck slowly rolled off the dock. Townsend was less graceful, clinging to the increasingly vertical dock his hands slipped and he fell screaming into the water.
Spencer and I follow.

give me a hand for this one

When I was in the 2nd grade someone gave a report about starfish.
cool starfish fact:
If they lose an arm the grow another.
I was so bored.
Why was this cool? Humans did it too. I didn't tell anyone this for fear of being wrong.
I had seen people with missing limbs but they were in the process of growing a new one.

Jesus will make you jump jump

When lil sis was around the age 5 she liked to draw pictures of Jesus.
This one is my favorite titled, "Jump rope with Jesus."
I can't find any of the other ones.

My brother told me his son is doing the same thing now. My nephew (5) drew a picture of him protecting Jesus from the bad guys in Halo.

You did it too!

When I was pregnant I use to think about Adia eating off a placenta and how strange that was. Every person I saw, I would think, 'they ate off a placenta.'
Presidential candidates, actors, writers, musicians, I still think about it, but I get stumped when it came to Alan Moore
Either he never ate off a placenta and was some weird apparition, or he still eats placenta

A spoonful of what?

I remember when watched Mary Poppins for the first time.
I was about six and at repeated begging my friend finally let me watch her copy.
There is a part in the movie where medicine is handed out. At each spoonful the children say what flavor they taste, Poppins announces her flavor is "rum punch."
I remember I was wary of Poppins after that announcement. I figured she must have been an alcoholic if she wanted rum flavored medicine. I figured once Jane and Michael were asleep she would break open her bottles and drink till she passed out.

I still think she probably did that.

Angst

I'm packing up our house for the move and I came across Spencer's old journal.
It was very entertaining, full of angst. My favorite line is when he wonders if I am good enough for him.

We don't have any food in our house except for buckets of milk. Well, we have one and a half gallons. We don't drink milk we have it on cereal but we don't even eat cereal much so to salvage the last of it we made lots and lots of pudding. It's pretty gross.

We were trying to figure out dinner. Spencer voted for twice baked pudding potatoes.